i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
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He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
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all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
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