i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Randomize
