It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
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