**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Randomize
