That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
