Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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