I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Randomize
