i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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