woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
Randomize