And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again