Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize