GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Randomize
