I'm lost and stupid without you.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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