Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
