i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Randomize
