I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
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