i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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