The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Randomize
