I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Randomize
