when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
