I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
