so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
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