Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Randomize
