Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
