Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
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