Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
He? As in you personified your dick?
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
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