New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
