And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Randomize
