whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
