dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
