I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
