guys are not supposed to queef...right?
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
This is my gift to your gina
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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