turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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