I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
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