no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
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