two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
