Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
ugly people sure do ruin things
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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