I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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