There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Randomize
