PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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