It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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