Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Randomize
