Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
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