I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
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