im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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