I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
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