In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
