apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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