no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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