New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Randomize
