come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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