but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Randomize