you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
