Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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