i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
