my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Just high enough for therapy.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Randomize
