Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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