Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
