i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
we're making bets on your personal life
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
