Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
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