I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Randomize
