i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
her vagine was all disorganized.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize