i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
