My Higher Power is John Stamos
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize
