oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
