Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I will be naked everywhere
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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