no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
