i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Randomize
