yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Randomize
