i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
